Rural Michigan

[FHB]

Source unknown....

THE RULES OF RURAL MICHIGAN ARE AS FOLLOWS:

1. Pull your droopy pants up. You look like an idiot.

2. Turn your cap right, your head isn't crooked.

3. Let's get this straight; it's called a 'dirt road.' I drive a pickup truck because I want to. No matter how slow you drive, you're going to get dust on your Lexus. Drive it or get out of the way.

4. They are cattle. They're live steaks. That's why they smell funny to you. But they smell like money to Michigan farmers. Get over it. Don't like it? I-94 goes east and west, I-75 goes north and south. Pick one.

5. So you have a $60,000 car. We're impressed. Grain farmers have $350,000 combines that they drive only 3 weeks a year.

6. So every person in rural Michigan waves. It's called being friendly. Try to understand the concept.

7. If that cell phone rings while an 8-point buck and 3 does are coming in, we WILL shoot it out of your hand. You better hope you don't have it up to your ear at the time.

8. Yeah, we eat taters, gravy, beans and cornbread. You really want sushi and caviar? It's available at Jim's bait shop...

9. The 'Opener' refers to the first day of deer season. It's religious holiday held on the 15th of November.

10. We open doors for women. That applies to all women, regardless of age.

11. No, there's no 'vegetarian special' on the menu. Order steak. Or you can order the Chef's Salad and pick off the 2 pounds of ham & turkey.

12. When we fill out a table, there are three main dishes: meats, vegetables, and breads. We use three seasonings - salt, pepper, and ketchup. Oh, yeah....We don't care what you folks in Detroit call that stuff you eat...IT AIN'T REAL CHILI!!

13. You bring 'coke' into my house, it better be brown, wet and served over ice.

14. You bring 'Mary Jane' into my house, she better be homegrown, cute, knows how to shoot, drive a truck, and she better have long hair..

15. College and high school football/basketball are as important here as the Lions and the Pistons .... and more fun to watch.

16. Yeah, we have golf courses. But don't hit the water hazards -- it spooks the fish.

17. Colleges? We have them all. We have State Universities , Community Colleges, and Voc-techs. Folks come outta there with an education plus a love for God and country, and they still wave at everybody when they come for the holidays..

18.Turn down that blasted car stereo! That thumpity-thump crap ain't music, anyway..We don't want to hear it anymore than we want to see your boxers. Refer back to #1.

19. Four inches of snow isn't a blizzard - it's a flurry. Drive in it like you got some sense, and DON'T take all our bread, milk, and bleach from the grocery stores. This ain't Alaska . Worst case you may have to live a whole day without croissants. The pickups with snowplows will have you out the next day.

20. By the way.... if you want to talk to God in Michigan , it's a local call.

[jaybe]

Most of that goes without saying up here in da U.P. But it was good to hear it anyway.

[BG Cole]

Spot on!

[luckoverskill]

I agree with all except the stereo bump bump part. You can listen to music loudly but just be respectful at stop lights and turn it down until you get going again.

[FHB]

I agree with all except the stereo bump bump part. You can listen to music loudly but just be respectful at stop lights and turn it down until you get going again.

Unfortunately, what makes that thumpety-thump so distracting is that sound below a certain frequency is non-directional, so when you hear it, you can't tell where it's coming from. That's why, with stereo systems having speakers for each channel, you can get away with only one sub-woofer (usually amplified separately), and it carries a long way and drowns everything else out. The factory system in my truck has a separate sub-woofer, but I keep it at a normal level so the bass sounds realistic. I honestly don't understand how someone can sit in his car with his sub-woofer blasting with enough volume to rattle my windows (and brain) a quarter mile away. He'll probably need hearing aids by age 30 because of all the scar tissue built up on his eardrums (if they're not ruptured by then).

[luckoverskill]

FHB, with all due respect, that is your opinion on that matter. I'm 40 and have had a loud stereo in my vehicles since was 16. I can hear just fine and still enjoy listening to my music as loud as possible whenever possible. For me it's a stress relief device almost as effective as fishing. It is not nearly as annoying as some biker with his unlawfully loud motorcycle or some diesel dumbass blowing black smoke all over everyone.

[capt.dan]

Your both right. I loved LOUD MUSIC. But throw in 40years of ROCK and 25 in the foundry. And yes, my hearing right now is very bad. Everything wears out.

[FHB]

FHB, with all due respect, that is your opinion on that matter. I'm 40 and have had a loud stereo in my vehicles since was 16. I can hear just fine and still enjoy listening to my music as loud as possible whenever possible. For me it's a stress relief device almost as effective as fishing. It is not nearly as annoying as some biker with his unlawfully loud motorcycle or some diesel dumbass blowing black smoke all over everyone.

Gee, maybe you're the reason I've had to have hearing aids for the last ten years! All kidding aside though, what you hear in your car is not the same as what we hear 50 yds away. The lower registers, besides being non-directional, also carry much farther. So where you sit, you hear and enjoy your music in total. But anyone outside the car will hear nothing but a series of small explosions, in time with the music, emenating from your amplified sub-woofer. This is especially true with rock, which to me, is more beat than music, but to each his own. I have no problem with you or anyone else enjoying your music as you see fit, but when I'm sitting in my car with my windows up, and my whole world starts shaking in time with some rock tune, I would think that you would find it reasonable that I'd be just a little annoyed. I was at a gas station once when a kid pulled in with his sub-woofer blasting (and all his windows open), and a cop hot on his heels. Don't know if a ticket was issued, but never even in my Army days did I ever hear a butt-chewing like this kid got from that cop. Seems some noise ordinances came into play, there. Anyway, just my two cent's worth, and I respect the fact that you personally try to be considerate of others. Unfortunately, not everyone does.


BTW, I don't own a motorcycle and my diesel is quiet and doesn't blow black smoke.

[luckoverskill]

You are absolutely right FHB. I understand that loud bass travels farther. The fact that not everyone respects everyone else's reasonable volume when it comes to traveling bass is just a small part of what is wrong with our world in todays environment. People are just extremely selfish today more than ever and have no consideration for others. I'll Make sure I keep the volume to a minimum next time I drive through Flushing.

[capt.dan]

In general....Boston, Jethro Tull or Pink Floyd simply cant be absorbed correctly when lower then 8. The Mega Base sounds came after my Mind Blower Speakers love affair. And I'm kinda glad it did.

[BG Cole]

Don't Should On Me - crank it up: https://paintriver.com/prp/0_Don't-Should-On-Me.mp3